Truth and Lies!

1)I am 6ft tall.
2)i love cats
3)I own 100 pairs of shoes.
4)i have a daughter.
5)i drive a Cadillac.
6)Ive been to jail once when i was in HS

love

I came across this on FB and found it very touchy! 

“When I got home that night as my wife served dinner, I held her hand and said, I’ve got something to tell you. She sat down and ate quietly. Again I observed the hurt in her eyes.

Suddenly I didn’t know how to open my mouth. But I had to let her know what I was thinking. I want a divorce. I raised the topic calmly. She didn’t seem to be annoyed by my words, instead she asked me softly, why?

I avoided her question. This made her angry. She threw away the chopsticks and shouted at me, you are not a man! That night, we didn’t talk to each other. She was weeping. I knew she wanted to find out what had happened to our marriage. But I could hardly give her a satisfactory answer; she had lost my heart to Jane. I didn’t love her anymore. I just pitied her!

With a deep sense of guilt, I drafted a divorce agreement which stated that she could own our house, our car, and 30% stake of my company. She glanced at it and then tore it into pieces. The woman who had spent ten years of her life with me had become a stranger. I felt sorry for her wasted time, resources and energy but I could not take back what I had said for I loved Jane so dearly. Finally she cried loudly in front of me, which was what I had expected to see. To me her cry was actually a kind of release. The idea of divorce which had obsessed me for several weeks seemed to be firmer and clearer now.

The next day, I came back home very late and found her writing something at the table. I didn’t have supper but went straight to sleep and fell asleep very fast because I was tired after an eventful day with Jane. When I woke up, she was still there at the table writing. I just did not care so I turned over and was asleep again.

In the morning she presented her divorce conditions: she didn’t want anything from me, but needed a month’s notice before the divorce. She requested that in that one month we both struggle to live as normal a life as possible. Her reasons were simple: our son had his exams in a month’s time and she didn’t want to disrupt him with our broken marriage.

This was agreeable to me. But she had something more, she asked me to recall how I had carried her into out bridal room on our wedding day. She requested that every day for the month’s duration I carry her out of our bedroom to the front door ever morning. I thought she was going crazy. Just to make our last days together bearable I accepted her odd request.

I told Jane about my wife’s divorce conditions. . She laughed loudly and thought it was absurd. No matter what tricks she applies, she has to face the divorce, she said scornfully.

My wife and I hadn’t had any body contact since my divorce intention was explicitly expressed. So when I carried her out on the first day, we both appeared clumsy. Our son clapped behind us, daddy is holding mommy in his arms. His words brought me a sense of pain. From the bedroom to the sitting room, then to the door, I walked over ten meters with her in my arms. She closed her eyes and said softly; don’t tell our son about the divorce. I nodded, feeling somewhat upset. I put her down outside the door. She went to wait for the bus to work. I drove alone to the office.

On the second day, both of us acted much more easily. She leaned on my chest. I could smell the fragrance of her blouse. I realized that I hadn’t looked at this woman carefully for a long time. I realized she was not young any more. There were fine wrinkles on her face, her hair was graying! Our marriage had taken its toll on her. For a minute I wondered what I had done to her.

On the fourth day, when I lifted her up, I felt a sense of intimacy returning. This was the woman who had given ten years of her life to me. On the fifth and sixth day, I realized that our sense of intimacy was growing again. I didn’t tell Jane about this. It became easier to carry her as the month slipped by. Perhaps the everyday workout made me stronger.

She was choosing what to wear one morning. She tried on quite a few dresses but could not find a suitable one. Then she sighed, all my dresses have grown bigger. I suddenly realized that she had grown so thin, that was the reason why I could carry her more easily.

Suddenly it hit me… she had buried so much pain and bitterness in her heart. Subconsciously I reached out and touched her head.

Our son came in at the moment and said, Dad, it’s time to carry mom out. To him, seeing his father carrying his mother out had become an essential part of his life. My wife gestured to our son to come closer and hugged him tightly. I turned my face away because I was afraid I might change my mind at this last minute. I then held her in my arms, walking from the bedroom, through the sitting room, to the hallway. Her hand surrounded my neck softly and naturally. I held her body tightly; it was just like our wedding day.

But her much lighter weight made me sad. On the last day, when I held her in my arms I could hardly move a step. Our son had gone to school. I held her tightly and said, I hadn’t noticed that our life lacked intimacy. I drove to office…. jumped out of the car swiftly without locking the door. I was afraid any delay would make me change my mind…I walked upstairs. Jane opened the door and I said to her, Sorry, Jane, I do not want the divorce anymore.

She looked at me, astonished, and then touched my forehead. Do you have a fever? She said. I moved her hand off my head. Sorry, Jane, I said, I won’t divorce. My marriage life was boring probably because she and I didn’t value the details of our lives, not because we didn’t love each other anymore. Now I realize that since I carried her into my home on our wedding day I am supposed to hold her until death do us apart. Jane seemed to suddenly wake up. She gave me a loud slap and then slammed the door and burst into tears. I walked downstairs and drove away. At the floral shop on the way, I ordered a bouquet of flowers for my wife. The salesgirl asked me what to write on the card. I smiled and wrote, I’ll carry you out every morning until death do us apart.

That evening I arrived home, flowers in my hands, a smile on my face, I run up stairs, only to find my wife in the bed - dead. My wife had been fighting CANCER for months and I was so busy with Jane to even notice. She knew that she would die soon and she wanted to save me from the whatever negative reaction from our son, in case we push through with the divorce.— At least, in the eyes of our son—- I’m a loving husband….

The small details of your lives are what really matter in a relationship. It is not the mansion, the car, property, the money in the bank. These create an environment conducive for happiness but cannot give happiness in themselves.

So find time to be your spouse’s friend and do those little things for each other that build intimacy. Do have a real happy marriage!

If you don’t share this, nothing will happen to you.

If you do, you just might save a marriage. Many of life’s failures are people who did not realize how close they were to success when they gave up.”


(Source: nathanpersuasion)

By: Islamic Reflections

A little FUN!

There are many things that i have changed my mind about over the last three years. One of these things is having fun and being a young parent. I used to think that once you were a parent everything changed and your life revolved around your child. I don't believe in that anymore. i think that even though your a mother or father you should be able to go out and have fun with friends and family.

When i first had my son i would stay home everyday and hung out with my siblings and boyfriends. This was okay for the first few months when i my son was just a baby. i then realized that that everyone was out every weekend having fun,partying or simply just hanging out with friends.Then i thought it wouldn't be so bad to hang out with my high school. Going out for dinner, movies or a drink didn't mean i was irresponsible or a bad mother to my son.Once my boyfriend and i started to go out again it felt so good to be alone from time to time. My son loved spending more time with his grandparents. 

I  have now changed my opinion on parents who go out and have fun, I don't think this changes the way they parent their kids. It is very healthy to have a family member watch your child while you go out and have some fun from time to time. No matter how old you are or how many kids you have, everyone needs a social life. It took me a while to see these things in a different way. I now have fun with friends and even take my son out with me and it doesnt change anything. We should all have a little fun!

Life Changing

I still remember that night, Friday December 26, 2008. It was a cold winter night that my boyfriend Gary and I decided to go for a walk up the hill by our house. We had been taking short walks here and there to help me with my delivery once our baby would come. After a long walk up and down the hills we headed home looking forward to relax and watch some TV. My Friday had now been complete and i was ready to get some rest and go to bed.

The next morning around 7:30 in the morning i started to feel very uncomfortable and a little bit of pain. At this point i was in labor but did not know it. I decided to shower take a walk, but the pain would not go away. The worst part of all was that  my mother-in-law was remodeling the kitchen and there was a lot of chaos surrounding me not allowing me to relax. I then called my mom and asked to come over and bring me some tea. I really though it was just a really bad stomach ache due to something i had eaten the day before. Once my mom brought my tea, my father-in-law prepared it for me and i try to drink it. The tea did not help and i was now getting scared.

Around 10:30am i decide to call my boyfriend and i told him how i was feeling. He quickly assumed i was in labor so he left work and headed home. Both Gary and his mom arrived at home around 11am and i was in some real pain. She also assumed i was  in labor but, i was still in denial. I did not want the baby to come already since i still had a week until my due date. We were now heading to Ventura County Hospital along with my mother in law, boyfriend and his two younger brothers. 

As we were driving to Ventura from Camarillo the pain had gotten worse. Once on Mills Rd my mother in law decide to stop at KFC for everyone since they hadn't had breakfast yet. I was in such huge pain that  this had just top it off by getting me really mad. i asked to my boyfriend, “Really we had to stop?”. He replied “Just relax, were almost there”. We were now a block away from the hospital and i was relieved.

We arrived at the hospital  around 11:30am we took the elevator to the fifth floor. I was looking forward to a nice quiet room and finally some peace but, i was wrong. Instead i was immediately getting checked every five minutes and i could hear other women in giving birth and others in pain. Once i was settled i called my mom and told her i was in the hospital and in labor. The word quickly spread and now my room was filled with my in-laws and my family. I was not very happy at this point because it was not quiet and everyone was just hanging out. 

Throughout the day i was getting contractions and vomiting but, still no baby. At about 4pm i was only at about 6 centimeters dilated. It was a very slow process and very painful. At around 7:30 pm i was at  8 centimeters but my water had not been broken. The nurses decided to rupture my water at about 8pm and asked if i wanted an epidural. I quickly replied “NO”. i did not want the epidural due to what i had heard from others. I wanted tough it out and take the pain.

It was now 9 o’clock when the baby wanted to come out and i started pushing. The nurses said to me “Stop pushing, the doctor is not here yet” i replied “Its coming i cant help it”. My doctor soon arrived and right away i was giving birth. It was now 9:12pm. I had now given birth to a 7lbs 12oz 21inch healthy baby boy. The delivery room was filled with joy and some tears. I could see my mom and mother-in-law very happy and Gary waiting patiently to hold him. I was very scared to hold him immediately so i didn't. I took me a while to realize i had just given birth to my child. Our family was anxiously waiting outside to meet our son and hold him. We were both then taken to our room and everyone left since it was late. The whole night i held my son in my arms and was so happy to finally have him. 

The next morning my room was quickly filled with family and friends who brought presents for my baby. It was a morning of welcoming love and joy. Throughout the day we decided on names but still weren't very sure. Later that night we decided to name him after his dad and a name i chose, he was now Angel Adam Roman. I was very happy with my sons name and so was his dad. 

My family was now complete and so was my happiness. On that day of December 27, 2008 I had a lot of life changing experiences. He really changed my view of life and the meaning of motherhood. I will never forget how important this day was to me and my family.

Reality Shows!!

Reality Television!!

Now in days all you see on television is reality shows. Theres a big variety of shows for all ages and taste. Its amazing how in the past few years reality has taken over many of our favorite shows. Now have all sorts of shows for example; The Jersey Shore, Teen Mom, Basketball Wives and many more. These shows are suppose to be about peoples real life but, most of them seem to be scripted.The three main channels that i know host most of these shows are E!, VH1 and MTV. Wether they're scripted or not, people still seem to tune in every week to watch the next episode.

I actually watch some reality tv shows on my favorite channel which is E!. The one show i really like at this point is Keeping Up With the Kardashians. Its a show about a crazy successful family and how they live their life. This show to me is very entertain and fun because the family is just full of craziness. I also enjoy watching Teen Mom on MTV. I can really relate to Teen Mom since i can relate to some of the girls on the show. I can say its sort of a guilty pleasure since i keep up with these shows once a week. I do not think its wrong to watch reality but its just how you view others life and respect it.

I believe that reality shows could be a little crazy and can get out of control for example, all these Mob Wives,basketball Wives etc. which are usually about drama and fighting.These type of shows put a bad example on how celebrity wives act like in their comfort zone. The Jersey Shore is another show that contains a lot of drama and fighting. They also use bad language and seem to always want to get physical. Now these type of shows are the ones i really dislike. I think they are a bad example since anyone can watch it especially teenagers.

On the other hand theres also educating reality shows like Teen Mom. I actually think these shows are good to show young girls an example of how most teen moms live and how hard it is to be young and to be parenting. Some parents may take this show offensive and think MTV is actually setting a bad example and encouraging teen pregnancy. While others think its okay to air these shows. I myself think Teen Mom is a good show since i get to see other teen moms overcome some challenges that i have been through.

Overall reality shows are on TV and will remain. Its up to you to choose what its that you want to watch. Some shows are bad influences and others are helpful. Its also parents that should be aware of what their kids are watching. These shows are going to be on TV for a long time since people are always tuning in and raising the demands. 

TEXTING!! 

Well what can i say about texting!! To tell you the truth Im not much of a texter, if anything Im on Facebook way more than I'm texting. Personally i don't text as much but i will do so when i don't feel like talking to someone or when its quick. Other than that i think its pretty ANNOYING! I get very annoyed with people who text and drive or even text and walk. They hold me up in traffic and sometimes they come close to causing accidents. I have come to realize that talking on the phone while driving  isn't as dangerous as texting and driving. I see adults and teenagers behind the wheel texting and driving. I don't even know how its possible to keep your eyes on the road and to be able to see your keyboard on your phone. A lot of people think that texting at a red light isn't as dangerous but i totally disagree. They hold traffic up and causes road rage to others. Texting has just changed the way people communicate with others but it has also chenged the way we care in how we may hurt others while texting and driving.

Past, Present and Future!

Hello... I was born and raised in Oxnard and after 21 years i still reside here. I was raised by  both my mom and dad. I am the oldest of four and i have two brothers and one sister. My childhood was actually pretty basic, I went to one elementary, one jr. high and one high school. I grew up with same group of  friends I met in kindergarden and with the same neighbors i could remember. From what i can remember i was always with my whole entire family for every holiday. Through school i was always bullied and picked on because i was very shy and so were my friends. that soon changed when i went to jr. and high school. i was always an ok student but trouble always crossed my path.(literally) I would consider my past very boring and  cookie cut.

I am currently a full time student, part time sales associate and full time mother to my two year old son Adam. This semester i am taking  math, english, anthropology and ceramics, which Im very excited for. This semester i will be very busy with school which leaves very little time for a social life. My son also just started preschool so on my free time i will be with him. I am currently living at home with my parents because they are helping get through school and everything else that comes with  being a mother. 

As for my future, i want to got to a four year university and major in sociology. I also want to own a home for my son and i. I would like to move to a nice quiet city but still live in California where my whole entire family lives. I hope my future is a bright as i picture it!